Dear Abbie Hoffman,
I recently had my Bar Mitzvah and took my birthright trip to Israel.While there I was fortunate enough to spend time on a kibbutz and experienced socialized living. It made me feel funny and good all at the same time. I experienced inside feelings that I'd never had before and had some really vivid dreams. I can't go into detail about the dreams because if my mom reads this she'll freak.
Do you think all this mean I'm becoming more of a man? I'm hoping that you might have some advice for a young Jewish boy who is trying to understand these special feelings and dreams.
Oh, and my little brother won't leave me alone about this, he wants me to ask you for him if you think cowboys like lollipops...He's so dumb.
Thanks for your time.
-New And A Little Confused
Dear NAALC,
Mazel tov! I see Judaism as a way of life. Sticking up for the underdog. Being an outsider. A critic of society. The kid on the corner who says the emperor has no clothes on. The Prophet.
As for those funny feelings and vivid dreams, I’m not sure if you’re talking about sex or drugs. If you’ve started smoking grass or whatnot, that’s fine, but all you kiddies remember to lay off the needle drugs; the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon, or since he’s gone, maybe one of those Tea Party guys.
Anyway, the '60s are gone, dope will never be as cheap, sex never as free, and the rock and roll never as great.
Hang in there,
Abbie
P.S. Tell your brother that everybody likes lollipops, even Julius Hoffman.
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